Heading Into Middle Age Kicking and Screaming
With a milestone birthday looming ever closer, I find myself increasingly attuned to every ache in my joints, every instance when I can’t immediately find the right word, every new little bulge that presses out or spills over. I know this is how things tend to go when one reaches middle age, but if I have anything to say about it, it’s not how things are going to go for me just yet.
A few days ago I pontificated broadly on this topic in my post, Taking the Long Way Around. But for now, I’m going to ditch the flowery prose and get down to brass tacks. Today I roll up my sleeves, roll out the map and start plotting my battle plan.
Goals and steps and motivation — there are thousands of books written about these things. I wrote one! At one time, that approach worked for me, but not now. At this point in my life, under these precise circumstances, SMART goals and the neat bullet-point lists that fall under that neat acronym’s headings are just more noise mucking up my airwaves. So I’m pitching all of it and focusing instead on the two things I think might actually work: Purpose and Action.
On the face of it, motivation and purpose seem like they could be the same thing. But to me at least, motivation tends to be about me and what I want, while purpose at least has the potential to be something bigger. In this case, my motivations are to get healthier, shed a few unwanted pounds, reduce inflammation throughout my body, and stay off medication of any kind for as long as possible. While those are all admirable, important, and seemingly strong motivators, I know how quickly they crumble before a plate of cookies.
My purpose, though, is something else entirely. It’s something with incredibly high stakes that’s about to put my reputation on the line. My purpose, starting right now, is to live up to the image people have of me. I will walk the walk, practice what I preach, take my own medicine — all of the cliches. But hopefully most of all, I’ll be the embodiment of health; an authentic example for others; a living roadmap out of the barren landscape of poor habits and the illnesses they foster.
I’ll do that with action, and let me be clear, this is the bridge-building part. (Sorry, we’re back to the metaphor, I can’t stay away). This is the hard work, the small steps, the achingly slow progress. But I have to be okay with that, because I know from experience that taking a hard right and barreling forward will just pitch me off the cliff. I’ll wind up right back where I am, dejected and less willing to try again. So I won’t get overly ambitious. My actions will be small, yet intentional and consistent.
Today’s action is Mindfulness. I will practice making myself aware of every decision I make related to my purpose. Whether I sit or stand; eat this or that; drink water, wine or tea; what type of workout I do and for how long; how much time I spend looking at screens; what time I go to bed. I’ll do my best to make conscious choices in each of these instances, but for today, and probably for a number of days to come, just being aware that I’m making a decision is enough. Because without awareness, change isn’t possible. Once I’ve cultivated the habit of paying attention, of making conscious decisions, I can focus on the quality of those decisions.
I’ll be back in a couple of days to let you know how it’s going. But first, have you ever wanted to grow food indoors? If so, check out tomorrow’s post!
Photo credit: Magda Ehlers on Pexels.
